Just for this day...

Just for this morning, I am going to smile whenever I see your face. and laugh when I feel like crying. Just for this morning, I will let you wake up softly, all rumpled in your flannel and I will hold you until you are ready.
Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say you're beautiful. Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I am going to eat a huge breakfast , with bacon eggs, toast and waffles, and you don't have to eat any. Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that 100 piece puzzle together.
Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the garden blowing bubbles. Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up or who you might have been before your diagnosis. Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to 'fix' things.
Just for this afternoon, I will let you put all kinds of barettes in my hair, and put lipstick on my face, and I will tell you how pretty you have made me look. Just for this afternoon I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a Happy meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born, and how much we love you. Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the bathtub and not get angry when you throw water over your sister's head.
Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch swing and count all the stars. Just for this evening, I will bring you glasses of water, and snuggle beside you for three hours and miss my favorite show on t.v.

Just for this evening, When I kneel down to pray, I will simply be grateful for all that I have and not ask for anything, except...
Just one more day.

~ Sally Meyer c.1999

My name is...

My name is Kendall,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My mommy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren´t ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All day long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
And nobody is home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My mommy is back,
From some bar

I hear her curse,
My name is called,
I press myself,
Against the wall.

I try to hide,
From her evil eyes,
I'm so afraid now,
I'm starting to cry.

She finds me weeping,
Calls me ugly words,
She says its my fault,
She suffers at work.

She slaps and hits me,
And yells at me more,
I finally get free,
And run to the door.

She's already locked it,
And I start to bawl,
She takes me and throws me,
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor,
With my bones nearly broken,
And my mommy continues,
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream,
But it´s now much to late,
Her face has been twisted,
Into an unimaginable shape.

The hurt and the pain,
Again and again,
O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!

And she finally stops,
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless,
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Kendall,
I am three,
Tonight my mommy,
Murdered me.